Derpy Hooves Has A Public Access Television Show

"Well, they just invented television about two days ago, and it was very exciting."

"OH MY GOODNESS WE JUST INVENTED TELEVISION TODAY AND IT IS VERY EXCITING."

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

"Um… Talking?"

"DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT ON TELEVISION?

"Sure!"

"COME WITH ME."

"HEY YOU WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?"

"I’m a dentist."

"DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT ON TELEVISION?

"…What would the point of that be?"

"JUST COME WITH ME."

"Okay."

"HEY YOU WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"I’m a DJ."

"DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT ON TELEVISION?

"I was born to do that on television!”

"COME WITH ME."

"HEY YOU WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"Something very important, actually! Very important!”

"DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT ON TELEVISION?

"I’m sure it would be entertaining, but I’m quite busy. Busy with my very important job!”

"SUIT YOURSELF."

"HEY YOU WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?"

"Um… I like helping!"

"DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT ON TELEVISION?

"Okay!"

"And then I met Bill and Joe and Frank and they put up this set and they installed the phone and here we are!

…How did you both call at the same time like that?”

"I’ve been sitting in here for hours and nopony has called yet! I don’t understand! Doesn’t anypony have problems? I set up fliers all over town! everypony should know about it by now!"

"Derpy."

"This is terrible! We can’t have a show if nopony calls us! Is it just that nopony is interested?"

"Derpy."

"I bet that’s what it is! Nopony cares that I have a show. Nopony wants any advice from me. This was a mistake. What was I thinking?"

"Derpy."

"What?"

"We haven’t had any callers because the phone has not been installed yet."

"Oh! Okay! When will it be installed?"

"Ask Joe."

"Joe, when will the phone be installed?"

"Ask Frank."

"Frank, when will the phone be installed?"

"Ask me in french."

"Franck quand auras-tu installé le téléphone?"

"It’s installed now."

"Yay!"

"Hey, everypony! Are you sad because nopony ever calls you? Maybe it’s just that you don’t have a phone! Ever think of that? Silly!"

NOW ACCEPTING CALLERS